Look what I found! A horrible review!

[Rexcor Jungmir #24]

This fart monkey named BlackhawkX gave Jet Moto 2 a bad review. I thought I would put it up for all to see. If anyone wants me to, I'd be more than happy to find more bad reviewers to curse upon and upload their reviews on this site.

(Taken from GamFAQs)
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"No! Get it away from me!"

I've been a racing fan for a long time, games like Mario Kart, F-Zero, ext. So I said ''Why not? I'll try it. Looks fun.'' I was VERY disappointed. Here's the recipe of a horrible racing game:

Difficulty-5/10
This is a simple racing game. Nothing hard. The only semi-difficult aspect is not crashing. Wow, so hard. *sarcasm* Run races in different terrains, with different things to crash into(YAY!).

Sound-7/10
Nothing special here folks. You hear a crunch when you fall, and other sounds that should be heard when you do all of the stuff.( braking, turbo, falling, ext.) and the music is second rate. Another thing this game lacks. Some above average sound/music.

Gameplay-2/10
This is the part where the game really starts to suck. The controls are very simple(X=accelerate, D-pad=move, and other easy controls), but they are VERY, VERY ''clunky''. You crash if you run into practically anything. If you rear-end someone, you fall and not the person you hit. Be careful when turning, you will most likely turn too slow and crash/be sent flying in the air and then crash. You can't just hold X and move the corners(I wish it was that easy). If you don't have it just right, you will crash(Crashing is about as much of the game as racing. ~_~).

Storyline-0/10
Race on different tracks! Get the trophy! Do it again on a different track! DO IT AGAIN with a different character! FUN FUN FUN! w00t! No story whatever. But, what else would you expect from a racing game?

Graphics-7/10
Basic PSX graphics. Mediocre 3-D animation. Whatever you want to call it, there is nothing special here.

Replay value-Moderate
The only thing that keeps you playing is trying to beat it with all characters. Nothing else, and it gets boring after the first 2 times you run-through.

Buy or rent?
If you even want to play this game, rent it. That way you can give it back when you realize how bat it is.

Pros and Cons

Pros-None. That's right. Nothing good about this game.

Cons-Bad gameplay. less than average sound, and basic PSX graphics are not the formula for a good racing game, or any game.

Overall-5/10
This is one of those games that you should cherish. Not cherish by playing it over and over and raving about it until you are blue in the face. I mean cherish by ''Point and laugh, children!'' or as one of the worst racing games of all time. Giving this game anything more that a 5 is a crime and a sin.

Reviewer's Score: 5/10, Originally Posted: 04/13/03, Updated 04/13/03
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He
makes
me
SICK!
PLEASE feel free to respond.

Edit: I found one for Jet Moto 1, but due to SO many grammar and spelling errors in it's sentences and references to the jet motos as "the thing" or the "futeristic jet ski," I spared your eyes and souls and kept it where it is (I also found a horrible review for JM3, with the guy calling the jet motos "little motor boats"). Plus, the guy related it to the Ridge Racer series and Gran Turismo 2. I never played GT2, but I'm sure it was decent, and the Ridge Racer series is extremely popular and actually fun. If you still want me to put it up for easy access (since anyone can still look at it), just ask. Or better yet, DARE.

[vgmastaricky]

Wow, was that guy really talking about Jet Moto 2?! That has to be some sort of mistake. That review was extremely inaccurate. Jet Moto 2 is wayy better than this.

[Enigma]

This guy is just a little shit, the Jet Moto serie is the best games of all times.
The graphics of Jet Moto 2/1 are simple but the game stay the best game.
The story??? Does in a car championship a story? No, Jet moto is the same.
The jet moto 2 is one of the hardest game i play!

Seriously, this guy is an asshole.

[Enigma]

Is this guy is serious???, listen to mario kart's music!!!
Shit!

[Dark Ermac]

I read this review once.

It's about as laughable as that one godawful review for Super Smash Bros where the reviewer states that Captain Falcon is from Star Fox.

[Rexcor Jungmir #24]

Sept 3, 2011 20:36:15 GMT -5 Dark Ermac said:

I read this review once.

It's about as laughable as that one godawful review for Super Smash Bros where the reviewer states that Captain Falcon is from Star Fox.

LOL, I remember reading a review from a guy who made a reference to Unsolved Mysteries while giving Super Smash Bros. a bad review. Sometimes, people are complete idiots. It's probably a disease (like internet faggotry).

[Ninetails2000]

He complains that if a bike hits something, it'll crash? He complained about not being able to just power through turns?

.......[Error#23AFD: Sarcastic Variables Too High To Properly Condense Into Cohesive Comment].....................

[Rexcor Jungmir #24]

I've been thinking, and I have decided to put up the Jet Moto 1 bad review up anyways. It's from a cousin of Dark Ermac's, or some sort of other internet-based blood relation (named Dark Templar, lol). Though it's in the wrong spot, I don't feel like making a new topic. WARNING: Contains massive amounts of spelling & grammar fail.

(Taken from GameFAQs)
-----------------------------------
"Strange, I usually like "weird" racing games"

Jet Moto (which appealed to my friends) never realy apealed to me. I thought it was ugly slow and boring.

Graphics-2
The graphics are rediculous the water looks like a blue blanket with white dots, did I mention the waves they are basically ripples in the water.

Music/Sound-6
The music was probably the best part there was some cool songs and stuff. But the music is not why I gave this categorie such a bad rating...it was the sound effects they are horrible. When the thing hits the water after a jump the sound resembles your fist slaming on a table.

Gameplay-3
The game play is creative but still slow and boring. You pick a team then you pick a racer then you get on your futeristic jet ski and race for three laps. Sure their are short cuts but your eyes will be in to much pain from looking at the graphics you probably won't find them. Also during the race the animation is choppy as anything and your vehical moves so slow it's not even funny (or enjoyable).Also did I mention the horrible fun factor, I was hopping that the tricks would be button combos but all they are are pushing up and down on the D-pad

Controll-1
The horror the horror, no I am not watching a horror movie I am thinking about Jet Moto's controlls. This game has the worst controll system of any game. When I first got the game I was lapped twice before I learned the start button.

Overall-4
This game is definatly one of the if not the worst racing game I ever played. Well this along with the ridge racer series and Gran Tourismo 2. If you like racing games and you see this used for a 10 dollars I recomend telling the clerk that it is priced to high and if he wants it out of the store to lower the price to about .50.

Reviewer's Score: 4/10, Originally Posted: 05/04/00, Updated 01/17/01
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I gave ya fair warning.

[Dark Ermac]

He was lapped twice before realizing that he needed to press the X button to move?

What a noob.

[OskyCMK]

What... what.... I don't even. #facefist

[Ninetails2000]

That guy sounds like he's too dumb to safely operate a blanket...

[toxik87]

death to the infidel! (sorry i know immature)

[spooferjahk]

I can partially agree with his review with the game having clunky controls that take some serious time to get used to, but that doesn't completely kill the game. The game is meant to be a challenge and it definitely has a decent sized learning curve if you want to be really good at it.

[Deleted]

Apr 23, 2012 19:56:31 GMT -5 spooferjahk said:

I can partially agree with his review with the game having clunky controls that take some serious time to get used to, but that doesn't completely kill the game. The game is meant to be a challenge and it definitely has a decent sized learning curve if you want to be really good at it.

Play the original resident evil or tomb raider and get back to me on that haha.


Only time the controls feel clunky is when you race a heavy bike with bad handling, but even after that, if you get use to it you can race a heavy bike just fine.

And yeah, I know. You have to take your finger off of the shoulder buttons to boost, but when are you going to boost and sharp turn or lean at the same time?

As for "Square" And grapple, All i do is press those with my thumb. I always have my thumb at a diagonal so I can press square or circle while still pressing X.

Really I don't see where the clunkiness comes in. The bikes pretty much handle like they are suppose to. The controls work fine.

So whats the issue?

[spooferjahk]

Apr 23, 2012 22:55:24 GMT -5 Adonael said:

Apr 23, 2012 19:56:31 GMT -5 spooferjahk said:

I can partially agree with his review with the game having clunky controls that take some serious time to get used to, but that doesn't completely kill the game. The game is meant to be a challenge and it definitely has a decent sized learning curve if you want to be really good at it.

Play the original resident evil or tomb raider and get back to me on that haha.


Only time the controls feel clunky is when you race a heavy bike with bad handling, but even after that, if you get use to it you can race a heavy bike just fine.

And yeah, I know. You have to take your finger off of the shoulder buttons to boost, but when are you going to boost and sharp turn or lean at the same time?

As for "Square" And grapple, All i do is press those with my thumb. I always have my thumb at a diagonal so I can press square or circle while still pressing X.

Really I don't see where the clunkiness comes in. The bikes pretty much handle like they are suppose to. The controls work fine.

So whats the issue?

Probably comes from not playing the Jet Moto games for so long and being babied by easier racing titles. Oddly enough I never found the early Tomb Raider and Resident Evil games to be clunky at all, probably nostalgia kicking in with that one.